It was October of 1993, my husband had died from heart disease, he died December 29, 1996 and was my true knight in shinning armor whom I adored and loved for 15 years, even though he was my fifth husband, it was as though he was my first and I thought would be my last. I was only in my early fifties at the the time of his death, I kept some pain pills he had but was unable to use them, partly due to religious belief and just plain cowardice. I would come home each night and go to bed hoping that the next morning I would not wake and be with him -- there will never be anyway to explain this type of pain - the movie Sleepless in Seattle was out at that time and it came the closest to anything in telling that pain.

I had just gotten my computer before his death, and remembered a program that had come with it called "INN" which has since been cancelled and is greatly missed and wish someone, (ATT bought it out then closed) would bring it back. It was totally a game network, backgammon, cribbage, poker, had lands, waiting rooms, you had a cartoon character and would meet people on line and play games or just chat it was wonderful - I connected to this and would come home every night and head right for the computer - I soon found out it was also a couple thing and you had to learn who to talk to who not. I learned that the more real the name chosen to use on board the more real the person was - I was "Foxiegrandma". My first encounter was with a name called "Grandpa Bob" - he was wonderful on line and we hit it off right away, I also meet this shy fellow called "OldAl " from Montana. Grandpa Bob was more fun and sometimes I would even lie to OldAl to get out of a cribbage date just to ! see him - only thing that was wrong with Grandpa Bob was he was married. I finally told "OldAl" the truth and that I would not talk to Grandpa Bob again. OldAl and I would get off work and rush home to our computers each night to meet on line for about the first month, he too had lost his spouse whom he loved like I had my Knight in Shinning Armor, but they had been married for 32 years. He also would go to bed at night hoping to not wake up in the morning - we became very close and after about one month, started also calling each other on phone. My children could not believe the difference in me and would laugh when I said I had a date on the computer - they said you can't do that, and I said well I am. In December of 1993, I told Oldal that my work christmas party was coming up and that I wanted to go but not stag! He said I'll come and take you. I was excited and scared at the same time to really meet this man whom I had talked to on the phone and exchanged pictures with, but I was determined to go through with. I asked him to bring me pictures of him and his wife and family - I knew that would tell me the kind of person he was. I arranged to pick him up at the airport which was 150 miles from where I lived, my children (all grown) was sure I was going to meet a serial killer.... I was so nervous at the airport but I am a very spontaneous person and told the airline person to give a message to "Oldal" that his christmas present would be wearing a red rose in her hair, which I did. His nickname for me online was "Little Love" and would always send me things in hearts, cards, letters, candy anything. I waited for him to get off the plane and my heart was pounding - her! e comes this 6'4" Montana cowboy, and me 5"3" I was over whelmed, but raised my right hand fist clinched and pulled in down saying out loud "Yes"... then embarrassed that everyone waiting heard me. He came toward me and walked right up and gave me a kiss and said "Well Little Love" lets go have some coffee! (later he told me he almost got back on the plane he was so scared). He came for 4 days, took me to my christmas party, when back to Montana for a few days, came back for christmas, ask me to marry him then but I was worried about how soon it had been since we lost our spouses - I took a leave of absence and went to Montana with him for 3 months, I wanted to see how he lived and meet his family too, I wanted to be real sure - Although, I really knew the first night he was at my home - he had a picture of him and his wife just a few days before she passed away with oxygen tubes on her and he looked at her the same loving way he did when they met, I knew that was true love. Also, she was 40 and he was 24 when they married and it lasted 32 years...I told him with me he was robbing the cradle. We were together one year before we actually got married, and I guess you won't be suprised that my wedding rings are "Heart Shaped"!